When I think of you

Granddad, you died of a broken heart
long before you were ever truly gone
and the years between then 
and sending you on your way
were spent first, trying to bring you back

we filled your home with love and laughter
and in your ears it all rang
hollow

Your soul had departed moons ago
with the sunlight of your life.

And in the end
the years turned only 
to solemn waiting, as slowly, you withdrew from us.

And some days I'd see some part of you
from long before, bursting through the cracks, 
as smile, a laugh, when I hold you, in my arms, 
like you once held me
when I too, was delicate, and small

And in these moments,
your eyes caught alight and you'd say,
your Nan is proud of you.

And so I knew
I always knew
that you were there, with her
and she with you
and now you can be whole again
and I cannot be holding you. 

Granddad you died of a broken heart.
My heart is broken too